Life Musings

I'm a lonely man.

Some people have told me that they don't understand why I'm still single. Frankly, I don't understand it myself. A lot of women have said that I'd be a great catch, and that they wish their daughters (or granddaughters) would find someone like me.

Heck, Terry said that we were a good match on paper, that I was a kind man, and that she didn't know why she couldn't commit to me. I don't understand it myself.

I have this great fear or rejection -- perhaps because I've encountered it so very often in my life. It hurts so badly. It really, really hurts.

It doesn't help that I'm an Asian man in a mostly Caucasian society. Caucasian women are pretty reluctant to date Asian men. Oh, there are exceptions, but on the whole, white female/Asian male pairings are pretty rare.

Heck, how many Asian male heartthrobs can the average person name? Not many. I asked this question a few times before, and people invariably said, "Well, there's Jackie Chan..." The problem is that Jackie Chan isn't really a heartthrob. Oh, there are women who think he's cute, or even sexy, but most people think of him primarily as a martial artist and comedic relief -- not as a romantic male lead.

A few would mention Chow Yun Fat, or maybe Jet Li. I've found that most people struggle to think of any Asian male romantic models, though. Heck, one woman even said, "Well, what about that Asian guy in the movies? I can't think of his name, but I know there's someone..." Interestingly enough, these same women would have no trouble naming Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise or Denzel Washington, I'm sure.

People would also have no trouble naming Lucy Liu or Tia Carrere when it comes to female Asian sex symbols. In contrast, they think of Asian males as being these emasculated characters, the type that few would consider as a romantic prospect.

And it hurts.