Life Musings

I was in a coffeehouse last night with some friends when along came this big, bald guy -- a friend of our companion Sarah, as it turned out. He sits down with our group and starts engaging Sarah in conversation..

Nothing wrong with that, except that whenever I had something to say, he would steamroll right over my words. Before I could even finish a sentence, he would start yapping again, rather loudly. On, and on, and on it went, over and over again. One of our companions even likened him to the Energizer Bunny. What a motormouth.

I was quiet on the outside, but inwardly, I was saying, "Hey, guess what, fella? You're not the only one whose conversations matter! Do you really think that your little jokes and insights are so urgent, so important, that you had better toss them out there before the next guy can finish his sentence? Somehow, I don't think that talking about your silly motorcycle was a matter of such tremendous, earth-shaking urgency."

This is mostly an issue of common courtesy; however, it's also a personal issue. I say that because I recently started to take a shine toward Sarah, at the promptings of a friend who thought she was interested in me. I was hoping that something might come of that, but I guess I should be thankful that God showed me otherwise.

And frankly, he's probably interested in her himself, even though he's bald, severely overweight and about 20 years older than she. I say that because he spent the entire night monopolizing the conversations with her, and scarcely engaging the rest of the crowd. Indeed, he routinely drowned me out. I was badly disappointed; however, if she's returning his attentions, then far be it for me to stand in their way.

Besides, perhaps this shows that she's not the right kind of person for me anyway. If she was unaware that I was trying to interject, and that he was steamrolling over my words, then perhaps she's not the sensitive soul that I would desire in a mate.

So yesterday, I did something that is mostly out of character. I decided to call this fellow up and let him know how badly I was offended by his behavior. I let him know how small he made me feel, and how he acted as though he and Sarah were the only people who had anything worthwhile to say.

I also said, "Look, it's obvious that you're quite taken with Sarah. There's nothing wrong with that. However, this does NOT mean that you get to all the talking, and trample over anyone else that has anything to say!"

He apologized, but I feel that his apology lacked sincerity.

"That's just the way I am!" he protested. "Well, that's no excuse," I replied.

"Well, I think it's no excuse that you're acting like a victim here," he said. "Excuse me? How would you feel if someone constantly interrupted you in mid-sentence, talking over your words? Would that not make you a victim?"

Later on, he said, "Well, I didn't mean to talk over you." I replied, "You know, I can believe that you didn't mean to cause offense. At the same time though, I find it difficult to believe that you didn't notice I was speaking. This went on all night long, Greg! I just don't believe that you didn't notice that other people were trying to say something."

Looking back, I realize that maybe he didn't realize that someone else wanted to get a word in edgewise. I guess if someone doesn't care about what other people have to say, then that person isn't going to notice when they're speaking.

It doesn't help that Sarah likewise ignored many of my comments. To be fair, she was probably captivated by the loud, animated way in which her friend Greg spoke. Still, it did indicate a lack of sensitivity on her part -- a lack of courtesy and attention toward others.